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September 2009
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Omnivore
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Date: Wednesday September 30, 2009
Oops, kiddos. He reads this thing. Guest blogger...Farmer Steve
First things first: She is not "brilliant"
Secondly: I am an omnivore. Anyone have any good recipes for Donkey?
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BadunkaDonkey
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Date: Saturday September 26, 2009
Farmer Steve is finding the humor in the whole donkey idea. We were headed out for a rare datenight (he has been forced to work about 7 days a week for the yard, so we kind of are missing each others company - thus a scheduled dress up night out). Anyway, on the way to dinner he asks "Honey, if you could have a choice of one milestone gift which of the two would you choose? A horse or a hot tub." Without hesitation I said "HOT TUB!" He began to laugh at the fact that I constantly talk about wanting a horse some day. He never dreamed I would sit there and not consider the horse over the hot tub.
What he seemd to have forgotten is that I had just spent the entire day on the farm, by myself, moving large rocks from the pasture, clearing pig fences, digging the pit for the pig roast and all the other farm stuff by myself all day. [Okay, Charlie helped, but still] The hot tub idea sounded fantastic! Besides, a horse is more work, right? If I want to go for a ride you are looking at about a 1/2 hour to get things ready to go and clean up after the ride. A hot tub, get in and relax baby. Besides others can enjoy it as well. Sounded simple to me.
As we talked about the horse idea I brought up the idea of a full sized donkey and all the benefits of having one. The fact that it would provide herd protection. They are kind of bomb proof and require less maintenance than a horse. If trained, it could be ridden and hitched to a cart etc. etc.
Then I moved on the all the wonderful things I could say to people:
"Hey have you seen my Ass?"
"Don't I have a great Ass?"
"Wow, my Ass is really cute."
Put him/her in a pair of jeans just to ask "Does my Ass look fat in these jeans?"
"I am going to go hitch my Ass up to a wagon and head out"
"Get off my Ass."
I could go on...actually we did. We had each other in stiches. Then Steve asked "What would you name your donkey?" I had already thought of this..."Donkey. Like the donkey in Shrek." He replied what about "Badunka Donkey?" Which would be a play on "Badunkadunk"
Badunkadunk: This is urban slang used used to define approval of the voluptuous curvature of a feminie rump. HOW APPROPRIATE would that be? If I have a donkey, it will be named BadunkaDonkey!
NOTE: If you find any of the language in this post offensive...sorry. Send me a scathing letter via email. I would appreciate it. That way I can know what you all can tolerate.
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Noah's Ark Syndrome
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Date: Thursday September 24, 2009
Syndrome: a. A complex of symptoms indicating the existence of an undesireable condition or quality. b. A distinctive or characteristic pattern of behavior
Noah's Ark: A large boat built by a biblical character to house animals of every species during epic natural disaster in hopes of preserving the species and thus mankind.
Together: Noah's Ark Syndrome is the complex behavior of collecting critters of various species but all with purpose.
The undesireable part is basically Farmer Steve not wanting a menagerie of animals here. He is not likely to win this case, although I am carefully calculating every move I make when it comes bringing them home. I would NEVER bring a critter home that he did not in some way agree to.
Let's talk about chickens. He said, yes, we should have chickens. After all, they eat the bugs out of our paddocks, cut back on ticks, and even provide us with food. So, I brought home chickens. He just didn't say how many I could get. So I carefully planned out my attack and brought a few home at a time so as to not overwhelm him. We ended up with 13 chickens last summer. All different colors and varieties.
The dogs. Well, when we first bought the farm I had to have a dog. SO, we adopted a greyhound. What purpose does he have? Heck we haven't figured that out yet...but he is now part of the family. Then we talked about a herding dog. Knowing that some point in our future, due to the layout of our farm, that a herd dog might be useful. Well, Katie came along much sooner than we needed her, neither of us could pass up that offer. She has helped move those alpacas and our pigs on more than one occassion.
I have been working for some time to convince Farmer Steve that we need a barn cat. Although I think he is finally turning that corner ever since he ran into the brown rat in our garage last week. I should have two happy barn cats by spring...don't tell Farmer Steve that is the timeline, or that there will be two...we have to ease him into it. I play a very fragile game here.
The latest crusade is a donkey. Yes, a donkey. I want a donkey for herd protection. Sure, I could get a livestock guard dog, but do I really want to hear that barking all night long? Do I want to have to worry about visitors getting bit? Heck no. A guard llama seems logical, but I already have a slew of long-necked 4-leggers here, I want something different. Then I learned about donkeys. Apparently they can make fantastic herd protectors. Ever since our dog incident last fall, Steve and I know we have a vulnerability and would never want to go through something like that again. I have begun researching dokeys and ran across the Mini-donk. OH MY LORD, they are super cute! I am told they are fantastic herd protectors in little packages. Check out these cute little things.
Those faces, those eyes, those long ears!
I haven't settled on what type of Donkey yet, as the idea of a big ole ass on my farm also pleases me. I can see myself hitching my ass to a wagon and having it take me on long rides...I simply like being able to use the word Ass in a social setting and having it not be so wrong.
I don't know if I can convince Farmer Steve. We eventually compromise (which typically means that he compromises beacuase he sees the brilliance of my plan.) If anyone out there has had experience with Donkeys on their farms as guardians I would love to hear from you. This is a long term plan, not something I can just jump right into so I am still gathering as much information as possible and would love any tidbits y'all can send my way.
Please keep Farmer Steve in your thoughts. He needs much strength to keep saying no to me.
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Moos says "Hi"
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Date: Friday September 11, 2009
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